


something's breaking my heart

by myscribblingquill



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Exes, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 10:52:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16911576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myscribblingquill/pseuds/myscribblingquill
Summary: Her lips are attached to someone else’s. Sirius doesn’t care who they are or why they’re kissing Mary but he knows that she’s the one doing most of the kissing. He sees red, or at least he would if he could see anything other than Mary kissing someone else.





	something's breaking my heart

**Author's Note:**

> _Prompt: My friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me_   
> this is not my fault, i claim no responsibility ...

Her lips are attached to someone else’s. Sirius doesn’t care who they are or why they’re kissing Mary but he knows that she’s the one doing most of the kissing. He sees red, or at least he would if he could see anything other than Mary kissing someone else.

“I know I said I wasn’t going to ask --” Remus is talking but Sirius is only half paying attention. They’re still kissing, barely coming up for air. The guys hands are on Mary’s back, barely inches from the place she always squeals if he brushes his fingers over it. Sirius tries to pull his eyes away, his head back into the conversation that he’s supposed to be having with Remus but she’s still kissing someone else.

“- Lily agrees with me and we’ve all decided,” Remus finishes, and the lull in noise draws Sirius’ attention away from Mary.

“What, sorry mate. I wasn’t paying attention,” Sirius says. He briefly glances at Remus and then returns his attention to Mary’s back that no longer has a pair of hands on it.

“I said,” Remus takes a breath, ready to repeat himself, but then he notices that Sirius still isn’t paying attention. “What are you looking at?”

“Nothing, I saw -” Sirius breaks off. All of their friends know roughly about what happened between him and Mary but not many of them know specifics. Sirius has told James, and he’s assumed that Mary’s told Lily some of it. Remus knows how he feels about it all but he doesn’t know what actually happened. Sirius doesn’t want to think about the morning that she left.

“I forgot to tell you,” Remus says. He steps in front of Sirius to block the rest of the room. “Mary might be here,”

The warning feels like too little, too late. He knows Mary is here because he’s seen her wrapped around some other guy. 

“Thanks,” Sirius nods to Remus, at least he had the decency to warn him unlike Lily he ordered him to be here, and didn’t give him any more information than a time and a place. He really hopes there’s some alcohol somewhere because if he has to see Mary again he needs to do it when he’s unlikely to remember it tomorrow.

“You don’t have to be here you know,” Remus suggests.

“Evans ordered me and I like being alive at the moment,” 

Remus chuckles at the thought of angering Lily. She’s a formidable force when she’s been crossed. Sirius can’t see Mary when Remus steps away and the hub of noise hits him again. His eyes are fixed on where she was only minutes ago, but there’s no one there, an empty space that’s already been filled by the crowds of jostling bodies that Lily had packed into her apartment.

“Speaking of Evans, I should show my face so she doesn’t start angrily texting me,” Sirius jokes, and then follows Remus as he weaves his way through the crowd in the general direction of the kitchen. While they walk Sirius cranes his head around the groups of people talking and drinking hoping to see a glimpse of blonde hair. There are blondes but none of them are the person he’s looking for. Mary has disappeared, and so has the guy she was kissing. The implication makes Sirius’ stomach churn, and he’s suddenly glad that they’d headed towards the kitchen.

He can hear James and Lily before he sees them. They’re arguing with Marlene about the right way to make a margarita, James firmly of the opinion that you have to stick to certain fruit arrangements while Lily and Marlene are convinced that you just throw in whatever you have in the fridge. Sirius is of the opinion that the fruit means less alcohol and that’s a bad thing. He gives each of them a huge, and them swipes the glass from under Lily’s nose.

“I was drinking that,” She glares at him. 

“You have four more,” Sirius nods at the array of glasses that have been set out on the counter as Marlene and James start to mix drinks together. They’re aiming for certain colours now, not caring about the taste. Sirius takes another mouthful of the drink. It tastes terrible but he doesn’t care. The image of Mary kissing another guy is seared into his mind and he needs to get it out.

“I need a case of vodka,” 

“I think your liver might object to that,” Remus picks up one of the drinks that James has just finished making. It’s almost a fluorescent green, 

“I think my liver should shut the fuck up,”

“Having a bad evening Sirius?” Lily teases. She takes a sip of a drink and spits it back into the glass, “God that’s disgusting,”

“This is all your fault Evans,” He gives her a pointed look. It really is all her fault. She was friends with Mary first, brought her along to one of her parties, and then kept bringing her when they went out or had a movie night. And now Mary walked out him but she’d somewhere in Lily’s flat, likely with someone’s lips touching hers and Sirius wants to hurl his glass at the wall.

He puts the glass down before he throws it. The last time someone threw a glass around Lily, there was a hospital trip involved, and Sirius isn’t leaving until he’s seen Mary.

It’s really a ridiculous idea. Waiting to see her is like tormenting himself. They’ll lock eye across the room, she’ll smile, he’ll raise a hand in an awkward wave ignoring the voice in his head that says to smile, to go over and talk to her. And then they’ll turn away from each other, and that will be that until the next party.

“Well it is my party,”

“Exactly, it’s all your fault,” Sirius sighs, a loudly as he possibly can without falling over, “Everything,”

“Are you trying to blow out a birthday cake?” James says, and flicks a cherry at him. “You’ve almost ruined my creation,” He holds up a glass that is stacked high with fruit, a small sliver of liquid at the bottom and a paper umbrella stuck in the top.

“I’m calling it the Leaning Tower of Margarita,” James proudly declares.

“Does it count as a margarita without alcohol?” Sirius says.

James looks offended and tries to hug the glass without toppling the fruit onto the floor, “There’s is vodka and apple juice in there,”

Sirius wishes for a moment that Lily would buy sensible alcohol at some point in her life. All there is on offer is the fruity stuff that Marlene and James are swishing into glasses. Out in the lounge there are probably a pile of beers, and other things that Sirius will actually want to drink, but he wants to stay in the kitchen, near his friends and away from that horrid table Mary was kissing a guy against early.

“Hey Sirius,” Lily bites her lip, looking nervous all of a sudden, “Did Remus mention about,” She hesitates, and it’s the worst moment of Sirius’ life because he knows what she’s going to say. He barely has time to prepared before Lily says, “Mary,”

He’s not sure if he imagines it, or if it actual does happen, but there’s a hush that falls over the room. “Yeah, he did,” Sirius sighs, “Not that it mattered,” He leans against the counter and takes a sip of the drink Remus put in his hands, “I’d already spotted her kissing someone else,”

Lily chokes on her drink, “She was doing what?” Lily sounds just as shocked as Sirius had felt in the moment. He doesn’t repeat himself, the words stick in his throat, and there’s some small part of him that thinks if he forgets about it then it didn’t happen. Like the time that Mary made pancakes on a Sunday, or when they’d run down to the shop in the pouring rain to buy some milk. If he forgets about it then it didn’t happen, and that way it can’t hurt.

“Mary was kissing someone?” Lily repeats. It feels like a knife in his chest, and Sirius groans, takes another large gulp of his drink and shushes her.

“Right, well,” Lily looks slightly enraged, and Sirius steps out of the way as she barges her way out of the kitchen.

“Lil, try this one,” James says, and tries to hand a drink to the empty space where Lily was. “What did you do to my girlfriend?

“I didn’t do anything to her. She’s ruined me,” Sirius retorts.

James snorts, but hands Sirius the drink. He takes a sip and spits it back out again. There are too many flavours all mixed together. It feels like his taste buds have been set on fire.

“What the hell is in that?” Sirius takes a swig of his drink to try and get rid of the taste.

“No idea,” James shrugs, “I mixed that one, and that one together,” He points to two of the drinks that Marlene had been making. 

“It’s disgusting,”

“Exactly,” James grins slightly triumphantly, and then the grin slides of his face. Sirius doesn’t turn around to see what he’s seen. It’s could be some of the guys they used to go to school with, or someone throwing up. Sirius doesn’t care, he just wants to stare out the window and wish that it was raining.

“Right,” Lily says, and then there’s someone being shoved into the side of Sirius. He starts to flinch until he recognises the faint smell that comes with the person. It’s the smell that was left lingering on his pillows after she left. He lowers his gaze and sees the back of Mary’s blonde head.

“Who’s been making margaritas?” She says, takes a glass from James and takes two large gulps. Sirius knows it’s two because he watches how her throat moves, remembers how it moves when she laughs, or groans, and then the knot in his stomach is back.

She wrinkles her nose a little, and then keeps drinking.

“Do you actually like the margarita or are you just avoiding talking?” Lily says, and pulls the glass away from her.

Sirius still can’t see her face. She’s not looking at him, but the way that Lily’s face falls says it all. He wants to make her look at him. He wants to spin her around and kiss her but he’s a little scared about what he’ll say if he looks in her eyes again.

“Maybe they should talk when they’re both actually sober,” James says, and that’s when Sirius realises that they’ve been talking about him behind his back, and that this whole party is likely a setup.

“For fucks sake, Lily you don’t-”

“Shut up,” 

Lily pulls Mary away before Sirius can get another word in, and though he spends most of the evening trying to find her, and Mary, James and Remus always keep him at the other end of the flat. James isn’t right about his assumption that it would be better that they talk it over when sober because when Sirius wakes up the next morning talking is that last thing he wants to do. His head throbs, and his throat is dry and the small clatter in the kitchen makes his eyes hurt. He’s in Lily’s flat so it’s likely to be her making the noise and Sirius can easily get away with bribing her in making him pancakes.

“Hey, why are-” The words dry up on his tongue. Mary is stood in the middle of the kitchen still wearing the same dress she was wearing last night. She’s got the coffee pit in her hand, pouring it into two mugs that she’s set out on the counter. The coffee keeps flowing into the mug as she just stares at him.

“Mary,” Sirius yells as quietly as he can when the mug starts to overflow. She jerks the pot up and jumps back from the stream of coffee flowing onto the floor.

“Shit,” She grabs a tea towel and shoves in on top of the spill. Sirius picks up the cloth from the sink and mops up the rest of the coffee that’s run down the cabinet. 

“I don’t suppose one of those is for me,” Sirius nods at the tow mug. May flushes a little, and quickly grabs a third mug. 

“Lily’s still asleep,” Mary pours the coffee and then hands him a mug, “I’m not sure where James is,”

“He’s on the couch, snoring,” 

Mary chuckles and Sirius feels his chest clench. He’s missed that sound. He’s missed seeing Mary in the mornings.

“Did you enjoy yourself last night?” He wants to kick himself as soon as the words come out but seeing her in that dress just reminds him that she’d left and then chosen someone else.

She blows on her coffee for a minute. “It was okay. James’ margaritas weren’t great though,”

“Yeah,” Sirius takes a sip of his coffee. The scalding liquid slips down his throat, and Sirius feels more awake. He’s stood in a kitchen with Mary for the specific purpose of talking and they’re still not actually talking because all Sirius can do is focus on the pit of jealous that started last night. He’d hope to forget it but the image is still there. Mary pressing her lips against someone else’s.

He knows that it’s partially jealousy that making him want to demand an explanation for her. The other part is the bit of him that doesn’t understand why she left, and then didn’t come back. She takes a small sip of her coffee, all of her lipstick is gone now, but the rest of her makeup in still in tack.

“Sirius,” Mary says. He hadn’t even realised that he taken a few steps forward so that their toes are almost touching. His socks against her bare feet. She still smells that same, the lavender soap that she always uses, and that she left a bottle of in the shower. 

“You kissed someone,” Sirius tries to stop his voice from cracking but it does it anyway.

Mary drops her eyes, examining the button on his shirt intently when she says, “Yeah,”

“Mary,” 

Sirius puts his mug down on the counter. He doesn’t look at it, he’s too focused on Mary and how she’s still not looking at him. Like she knows he face it going to betray something that she doesn’t want him to know.

“Mary,” Sirius says again. She raises her head, and he can see that her eyes have gone glasses but she just stares at him refusing to give him anything else.

“I’ve kissed a lot of people,” She tries to say it without a care but her voice wavers at the end. 

Sirius clenches his jaw. He doesn’t plan to kiss her then but she licks her lips and every thought of talking evaporates from his head. Somehow Mary’s mug ends up safe on the counter as Sirius grabs her hips and pulls her close to him. He dips his head and presses their lips together. Mary sighs into his lips, and her hands find his shirt collar to pull him closer.

They stumble backwards a little, and their lips break apart. Sirius sees a small tear drip down Mary’s face, and he goes to pull away from her to ask what’s wrong but she’s not interested in talking. Mary winds her finger into Sirius shirt and their lips meet again. Sirius pushes her up to the counter, and Mary lets out a small groan as her back arches into the counter and Sirius lets his hands trace up her back.

“God,” Lily’s exclamation makes them both jump. “It’s seven in the morning,”

“I made you coffee,” Mary says slightly sheepishly. She’s smiling, Sirius can’t see her smile but he can feel it from where their noses are pressed together.

“I’m glad this is sorted,” Lily nods and picks up the third mug with coffee that has gone slightly cold. “I’m going to remove James from the couch so,” She waves a hand, “Carry on,”

“Did she just?” Mary lets the sentence hang.

“I’m not going to argue with her,” Sirius says. His lips brush lightly over Mary’s before he presses them against hers. 

They’ll talk but first Sirius wants to kiss Mary again, to remember exactly how it feels when her fingers brush against his neck, and how she tastes of coffee and toothpaste. They’ll talk and this time Sirius will actually find out why she left, and why she didn’t come back, and he’ll make sure that she knows that he wants her to stay forever. That he wants to kiss her every morning for as long as she’ll let him.

They’ll talk as soon as he’s sure the lounge is empty, which is going to take a few minutes because James hates hangovers and even Lily’s encouragement isn’t going to make him want to move. They’ll talk but for now Sirius pulls Mary closer and keeps kissing her. 

**Author's Note:**

> I WAS IN AN ANGST MOOD OKAY! Thanks for reading


End file.
